Why do my children …

…suddenly become starving the minute I begin eating something, even though they could not possibly squeeze one more bite into their little bodies two minutes before that?

…think that a pile of clean laundry is akin to a pile of crisp fall leaves (which one should jump and roll in)?

…feel that a clean spot of the floor is in desperate need of a pile of their toys?

…think that my saying “no” to one child, surely does not apply to the other?

…think that my saying “yes” to one child, surely DOES apply to other?

…think that “oopid” “doopid” “youpid”  and “voopid” are acceptable alternatives to calling someone “stupid”?

…suddenly become achingly attached to the toy that their brother is currently playing with (yet they themselves haven’t touched in ages)?

…feel that pants are an optional item when going on an errand? (ok, that is just Jack)

Anyone got any answers?