Pinky

While getting off of one of the inter-tubes  at Great Wolf Lodge, I bent one of my pinkies back.  I was pushing myself off of the tube with my hand, and all of my fingers slipped off except my pinky.  Unfortunately, I do not have enough strength in my right pinky to hold the weight of my body, so it bent back.

It hurt quite a bit, but I really didn’t want to make a big deal about it, so I carried on playing with the boys (and trying to cross the lily pads without holding onto the rope! – never did accomplish that…)

After about ten or fifteen minutes I was in too much pain.  I dreaded bringing attention to myself and I dreaded the humiliation of declaring a pinky injury.  But, I needed some ice;  so I went over to the lifeguard station.  I explained I had bent my finger back, and would love to get an icepack.  Could they get something for me?  They said they could.

Of course, it is never that simple with American companies.  They like to make things official and are worried about being sued.  The lifeguard asked me to sit down, and I could feel the paperwork coming on.  I started wishing I had gone to the Pizza Hut upstairs and got some ice there.  As I walked over, I eyed the chair in which  he had asked me to sit.   I noticed it was red and quite high, and I was going to have to climb two steps up onto it and would therefore be on display.  This was exactly the type of thing I was trying to avoid!

It was at this point I slipped on the wet floor, and fell – arms flailing as I went down, grabbing onto a post and pulling my body and face against it – barely keeping from hitting the floor.  I was pleased that I had caught myself, but as I straightened up and saw that I had the attention of four gob-smacked lifeguards, I realized that hitting the floor would probably have been far more graceful. (though “graceful” probably wouldn’t be the adjective of choice for either of those scenarios…)

Me: (Laughing) As if the pinky injury isn’t enough, now I have really embarrassed myself.  I am not usually this uncoordinated.

Lifeguard: Did you injure yourself further with that fall?

Me: No, it’s still just the pinky.

The lifeguard found his clipboard and injury paper.  Then he remembered and got me some ice packs.  They are a really cool type I have never seen before; they are stored in a cardboard box, and are shaken to initiate the cold – just like hand warmers when you are snowboarding!

The lifeguard examined my hand and pinky for several minutes as if he was Dougie Houser, MD had great experience with these types of injuries in his long 17 year of life .  He takes my name, address, phone, etc, and asks me to explain my injury and where it took place.

Lifeguard: Was it on the Canyon Run or the Howlin’ Tornado? 

Me: I’m not sure which one- I don’t know the names. ( I point in the direction of the bigger waterslides.)  The one with the green slide.

The lifeguard’s eyebrows furrow, and he looks over in the direction  in which I pointed - eyeing the two large slides at the top, neither of which are green.  Then he looks back at me quizzically, and back at the slides, moving his eyes slowly down the far wall. 

Lifeguard: Oh, you mean the little green one!

Me: You are really not  making me feel better here!

He laughs, and finishes filling out most of the paperwork.  The final questions: Your age? Your height? I answer these two, but have had enough.

Me: Don’t even ask for my weight!

I move to climb down from my chair and the lifeguard hands me another four ice-packs.  This seems a little excessive and I wonder how long I will need to keep my finger cold.  Then I realize that the ice pack I have no longer feels cold. While it seems as though I have been on the display chair forever, I guess that it hasn’t been longer than ten minutes. 

Me: How long do the ice packs last?

Lifeguard: For about five minutes.

Me: No thanks, I’ll be fine.

I hop down and return to the family.

The blended margarita Eric gets me with lunch lasts an awful lot longer than five minutes!