Kindergarten is killing me. It hasn’t even started and it is killing me. I have cried every day for the past few days thinking about Owen starting school in just three weeks. I can’t remember the last time I cried (apart from yesterday and the day before…) I am not normally someone who cries over things.
Eric’s mom, Mary, told me she was surprised that I am upset about Owen going off to Kindergarten. Mary thought I would be happy thinking about all of the exciting new experiences Owen will have. It is certainly not surprising that she thought this – it is exactly how I thought I would feel too!
As a teacher I am excited for Owen to go to school. I am excited for the new experiences and learning opportunities he will have. He is definitely ready for Kindergarten. But, I guess if I am honest, it is not Owen that I am worried about, it’s me. I always focused on the Owen part up until now – and tried to make sure he was prepared. I just didn’t realize that the “me” part would be so strong – and need some preparation too.
As I was taking (crying) on the phone with my mom today, she reminisced a little about the struggles she had sending my brother, sister, and I to school. It is a difficult step to take for most parents.
Later today I was thinking about that conversation with my mom, I remembered what she has told me about my first year of school. I was four and reading and excited to go to school like my brother and sister. My mom enrolled me in school, but decided quickly that the full-day schedule was too long for me. She decided I should go half-day and actually came to school every day around lunchtime and picked me up and took me home . The school must not have known quite what to do with that; there was no such thing as half-day kindergarten in Scotland. But my mom just thought I was too young to be in school that long, so she made new plans.
Somehow my mother changing the system to fit my needs (when I was 4) was very comforting to me (now). I liked to be reminded that I am still Owen’s biggest advocate. It has not cured the sick and sad feeling I get when I think of Owen in Kindergarten, but it does make me fill a little better – so I will take it…
and maybe push truancy off for another year!
Ah sweetie. This must be tough. You have worked so hard for this day to make sure he is ready - teaching him to fly and and now not wanting him to leave the nest. But just think how much fun you both will have at dinner and bedtime with the days events ritual. He is his own little person, and he LOVES school - and you did that!
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